How To Overcome Mom Guilt

There is not one mom out there that hasn’t experienced mom guilt which is what inspired me to write a blog post on how to overcome mom guilt. Mom guilt are feelings of guilt in motherhood usually due to unrealistic expectations us moms put on ourselves. Guilt is a useless emotion or so they say. This is a quote I heard the other day and it’s so true! I get nothing out of guilt but shame and sadness. It is so easy and common to fall into the cycle of guilt especially in mom life. Motherhood is challenging. There are days where I feel like super mom and days where I feel like I failed on ALL levels. We sometimes forget that we are humans taking care of little humans with just as many emotions.

Mom guilt is inevitable in motherhood. I feel like lately especially being a mom of a toddler…I am wrestling with my guilt more often than not. But because I pay an unfortunate visit on the mom guilt train, I have learned ways to cope with it. And my hope is that it can help you. Below are the tips on how to overcome mom guilt when it starts creeping up on me. Pin below if you would like to refer back to later!

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How To Overcome Mom Guilt

Look To Your Baby

I know…this sounds like a weird one. Your baby looks to you for comfort, to be fed, to be loved, to be held, to be taken care of. And mama, I guarantee you have done all of those things. Your smiling baby looking up at you is proof enough that you are doing a good job. Your toddler even after having a screaming tantrum and not listening to you after the tenth no in a row still wants your cuddles at the end of the day. Sometimes us moms feel like we never do enough but loving your baby is enough, mama!

Feel like you sucked at accomplishing your giant To Do List, Write down ALL the things you DID do

When I write down all the things I did during my stay at home days with my boys, I realize that I did a lot more than the list that was in my head. Even if that list is just…survived (a.k.a you kept the little humans fed and taking care of). That is okay too.

Be in the present moment

This is a hard one. But a lot of my mom guilt comes from not being always present. We can’t be one hundred percent in a million things at once. I am actively trying to grow my blog/social media and trying to do both is a recipe for disaster. Mom guilt always creeps in when I spend too much time on my phone. Making a schedule and carving out time to work on my hobby of blogging and instragram-ing has made all the difference for my mom guilt. When all my attention and focus is with playing with my boys, I feel so much better. When all my attention and focus is on my blog (when the boys are napping or my husband is with them), I get so much more done.

Related Posts:Stay At Home Mom Schedule

Give Yourself Grace

If there us anything you take from this list on how to overcome mom guilt, then this is it! You aren’t perfect. And you also can’t be perfect in something you have never experienced before. There is always a new stage in motherhood. Once we get something down, it changes. You are going to make mistakes and that is okay! Why? Because then we learn what to do different and what works better. Our babies forgive and forget so quick and we need to do the same for ourselves.

Letting Go Of Expectations

Learning to let go of expectations in motherhood was a challenge for me but it has helped me be a better and more forgiving mom. ⠀
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Before I became a mom, I had a lot of expectations. I thought while I was on maternity leave that I would be able to take care of my baby and always have the house clean. I’d have dinner ready to go when my husband walked in the door. I expected breastfeeding to come naturally. I expected my baby to have no issues napping. I expected to be able to soothe my baby all the time. I expected to take my baby everywhere easily. ⠀
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These were just expectations I had for myself not counting the expectations society puts on us moms.⠀
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Letting go of expecting my journey of motherhood to be like the mom I see on social media or even a mom I know was the best decision I could have made for myself. ⠀
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Letting go of the expectation that my baby should be napping or sleeping through the night like my friend’s baby and accepting that my baby’s sleep doesn’t come easy took away a lot of frustration and stress. ⠀
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Letting go of the mom guilt that I am not a perfect mom helped me realize that I love my baby perfectly and that is enough. ⠀
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Mamas, we tend to build up these impossible expectations in ourselves and when we can’t meet them, we are so hard on ourselves. We are human. We aren’t perfect. We can’t do it all. Let go of everyone’s else expectations, your expectations, society’s expectations and just focus on your journey. You are the best mother to your baby. You know what is best. At the end of the day, if your baby was loved and cared for, then you have done enough.

Talk To Someone About Your Feelings

Open up to your spouse or another mama, chances are they are going to tell you that you are doing a good job. If it’s another mama, they will be able to tell you that they have been there too. Sometimes just talking about it and getting it out of your head can help a ton. Internalizing it and thinking about it constantly isn’t going to benefit anyone.

Give Yourself Permission To Do Things You Want To Do

A lot of my mom guilt comes from doing things I want to do or taking a much needed break from my boys. I feel guilty for wanting to work on my blog or choosing to take a bath instead of help my husband with dinner. But it is okay to give yourself permission to fill your cup. When you are depleted, mom guilt creeps in way easier when you are exhausted and stretched thin. Why? Because I don’t know about you but when I am in mom burnout mode…I am way more impatient and irritable. I snap at my boys and my husband which leaves me feeling guilty. A happy mama goes a long way. You can take care of your kids and husband better when you can take care of yourself.

Related Posts:Self Care Tips For Busy Mamas

Improve Your Self Talk

I am horrible in this department. Like terrible. But I am learning that I need to treat myself kinder with my thoughts. I need to have more confidence in myself. I need to trust myself more. What has helped me is positive daily affirmations…I am enough. I am worthy. I am a good mom. 

You deserve to treat yourself they way you treat others. Love yourself they way you love your boys. We believe the thoughts we tell ourselves. So even if it feels weird, repeat those affirmations out loud. Eventually, you will start to truly believe it.

Take Action & Stop The Mom Guilt

Let’s be honest here..a lot of the mom guilt we bring it on ourselves. Just a little tough love because I needed to the punch gut too! But that’s not a bad thing. Because we can let the self inflicted mom guilt serve us. We can let it teach us to be better. 

Evaluate your choices: An example, I felt like I needed to be present on social media ALL the time in order to grow my Instagram. Being present on social media all the time was starting to put a strain on my relationship with my kids and my husband. And insert mom guilt…mom guilt I inflicted on myself. I found resolution with finding a schedule and carving out time for both and eliminated the mom guilt.

But I realize sometimes it’s not choices and it’s judgement we put on ourselves like when you have days where your child had a little too much screen time. That’s where the positive self talk comes in…you aren’t any less of a good mom because your child watched too much screen time. Shut out those negative feelings or others’ judgement on how you parent because at the end of the day you are doing your best.

These are just some of the things I have learned on how to overcome mom guilt. It’s helped me tremendously and I really hope it can help you struggle. As always, join the discussion and let me know what mom guilt struggles you deal with and if you discovered anything that has helped.